“I offer in-person couples counselling sessions in Vancouver and online sessions. My in-person counselling sessions are based in East Vancouver and I offer online counselling sessions using the Jane App. ”
What Is Emotionally Focused Couples Counselling?
Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) focuses on an individual’s attachment style and how this manifests in their intimate partner relationship. As a counsellor, I will be curious to learn about how couples engage with one another both in counselling sessions and outside. Emotions are explored thus, I will ask individuals how they felt, where in their body those feelings surfaced, what thoughts arose, and what behavior they engaged in. I also focus on how individuals process an experience, what emotions surface for them, and how this may differ for their partner. The aim of EFT is to strengthen the couple’s bond and to build safety. For counsellors, the client is the couple’s relationship rather than either of the partners.
EFT explores an individual’s attachment style and how this manifests in their relationship. There is extensive literature and research on the attachment theory founded by John Bowlby. According to Bowlby, there are four types of attachment styles.
Things To Consider Before You Start Couples Counselling?
One key component of EFT is learning about the couple’s attachment history. I will meet with more partners individually and ask them to share more about their childhood and upbringing. I will also be curious to learn more about their attachment needs in relation to romantic relationships. I invite you to think about the following questions.
Sign up for a free consultation
I encourage you to sign up for a free consultation with a counsellor before booking a counselling session. Some counsellors are trained in the Gottman method, others including myself, are trained in EFT and some are trained sex therapists. While there is some similarities between the Gottman method and EFT, there are also some differences, and talking to different counsellors will help you determine which approach is the best fit for you and your relationship.
Childhood and attachment history
– Who provided comfort to you when you were young?
– Was this individual consistently able to provide comfort when you needed it?
– Did this individual ever betray you or were they unavailable at a crucial time in your life?
Answers to these questions and others enable your counsellor to learn more about attachment figures in your life and whether or not they were able to meet your needs.
Romantic relationships attachment
– Are you able to be vulnerable and seek comfort from your partner?
– Have you experienced any traumatic incidences in previous intimate partner relationships?
Answer to these questions helps your counsellor gain more insight about your current and past romantic relationships. It may also help your counsellor identify any trends or commonalities with either your behavior and/or your partners.
Things To Consider Once You Start Your Counselling Journey
Starting couples counselling can feel stressful but also comforting. With some couples, one partner is more open to seeking counselling compared to the other who perhaps is a little unsure. I would invite you to consider the following as you embark upon your couples counselling journey.
The Benefits of Couples Therapy
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